An Orphan’s Test: What Host Families Should Know

FEAT imageTwice a year, our interview teams go to meet the children of our Summer and Winter Hosting Programs. Many times when they return, Shannon, Cayce, and the rest of the hosting team get right down to the business of finding families for the children they’ve met along their journey. It becomes a whirlwind of activity in the office, with photos organized, profiles compiled, and jumps of joy as each new family steps forward for a child in need.

It’s important to know what the entirety of this journey looks like to know how and why we work so hard for the children, not only in hosting, but in all our programs. The range of needs, conditions, children we meet is so different that one family may find that their host child seems perfectly content, well-cared for, and not particularly “in need.” Another host family meets a child with a troubled past, a fear of hugs, and not just a few rotting teeth. To understand each child’s situation, some thoughts from our interview team can really paint the perspective of what these children face.
 
For the children who are well-cared for, they may not seem like they “need” a family. For many of them, like two boys we met who had been malnourished and neglected prior to arriving in their foster family, this is the first time they have been well-cared for. It’s the place they may have received their first birthday present all for their own or had someone make a meal that they were invited to sit down and eat. It’s not long term, and even though the children get here and tell us happy stories about their home lives, these are not their forever lives. For most of our children, their childhood ends at 14, or if they are lucky, 16. They may be sent to look for work…or simply sent away.
They are children, and many of them are older children. They come with memories, friends, and sometimes first loves (who wasn’t “in love” at age 12? My first crush was Jonathan Taylor Thomas – I’m not ashamed!). It may be tempting to second guess these children’s need for the warmth of a family because they tell us about these little lives they have built for themselves. The important thing to remember is that many of these little lives end, and children are asked to become adults far before they should.
The children with tough pasts, and we see a number of them, can be easy to want to help but incredibly difficult (especially at first) to bring that help to the table. For children who have grown up in orphanages or poor foster families, hosting may be the first time they’ve ever really had a hug. Families have been waiting, dreaming for months of their host child stepping off that plane. They are ready to run at their kids with open arms and envelop them in the safety and security that we know a home and a family means. What the child sees is a stranger who may mean anything. Is this another adult who will abandon me? Is this another adult who will hurt me? These are the questions I know our children wonder. 
These children test us over and over throughout hosting because they have been in a test all of their lives – a test they have never been allowed to pass, never given the tools to even take. Will you still love me if I fall down crying in the store? Will you still love me if I don’t want a hug? With our own children, they know we will still tuck them into bed that night, wake up in the morning with breakfast ready, because this is something that has happened their whole lives. Every day you have woken up, as a parent, husband, wife, son, or whoever, and someone has been there to still love you. For these children, there was no one. For these children, they are still taking the test, waiting, hoping, wishing beyond measure they are allowed to pass this time, even if they throw a temper tantrum, even if they can’t hug you right now, even if they panic over fear of a fork (where are the chopsticks?!?) and refuse to eat.
Latvia (web)What’s clear is that all of the children we see need the unconditional love a family can offer. We still have so many children in need, a child who has a foster brother with a big laugh, a child in an orphanage with 50 other children and just one caretaker, a child with a laugh, a cry, a voice that deserves to be heard. If you’d like to speak with our hosting team about the children still in need, get in touch with us at shannon@gwca.org or cayce@childrenofallnations.com. You can also visit our photolisting to meet the children still looking for a host family this summer. If you’re ready for the trials, personal growth, but most importantly joy that hosting can bring, please let us know.
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The Philippines Kids are Here!

After many many months of unforeseen circumstances, that caused some delays, the Philippines Host children finally landed on U.S. soil yesterday! An incredible group of resilient children met their host families for the very first time last night, for some it was their forever family. All the kids are right here in Texas and we can’t wait to see their updates and fun photos. Unfortunately with the restrictions from the Philippines we will only be able to share certain photos as the children can’t be identifiable in photos posted on the internet. 

If you are interested in learning more about the children here seeking forever families, contact us today! The children looking for families are 10-14 year-old boys.

 

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#HostingHappenings – Where Should a Child Call Home?

Interview trips are hard.

Of course it’s partly because the interview team, which usually consists of two people, spends 13+ hours a day either traveling to meet children, meeting children, or talking to caretakers about the children. The days are long, you’re cramped in a car or a train or a plane almost the entire time, and you’re meeting child after child, knowing in the back of your mind that you can’t help them all. You keep going because you can help one, or two, or as many as you can, and that’s what makes it easier.

Some days, though, you see the worst, and you wonder if you can make it better.

IMG_0471[1]Today we met this little man, Mr. Sweet Smile, who is 14 years old and lives in an orphanage. He’s paralyzed from the waist down, but it was obvious that this is where his needs stopped. He said all the colors of the rainbow, he counted numbers, said hello, and could understand the basic questions we were asking – all in English. He told us in Latvian that he had taught himself Russian – his favorite book is The Jungle Book in Russian. His told us his dream is to work with computers, and if he could have just one gift, he want want a Lego set to build with the other children living there. His smile warmed his eyes and lit the room.

IMG_0475[1]This is part of the building attached to the orphanage he’s living in. It’s a beautiful old building, one that was once used for orphaned babies. Now that it’s fallen into disrepair, children like him are put into a small corner of the building that still has the roof intact. He lives in one of the poorest parts of Latvia, and children like him are sent to live here until the age out and are sent either to live in an adult home of similar conditions or expected to adapt on their own. IMG_0474[1]

Despite this, he was a bright boy who had not only educated himself but had kept his bright attitude. He gave us a big smile and a thumbs up when we asked for a photo. He told us he loves animals, and the small bird next to him talked to him for almost the entire interview. He had a caring heart, and his caretakers told us he helps with the other children, who all wait anxiously for visitors to come to show them that they are not forgotten, that someone does care.

This is not a place a child should have to call home. Boys his age, especially those in a wheelchair, are almost impossible to place. We left knowing that the chance of finding him a family was incredibly small…but knowing that every ounce of effort to find him that family would be worth it. We want him to know that his heart and mind matter to the world, that he won’t be left behind or forgotten because of his legs, but that he will be seen, heard, and loved for the amazing child he is.

Interview trips are hard, but the rewards are great. I move forward wondering where, if, when I will find the family that this child can call home.

-C

A note from the staff at home: If you’re interested in potentially hosting, and especially hosting an older kiddo, we’d love to hear from you! Get in touch with us to find out more by contact Shannon at shannon@gwca.org or call (512) 323-9595 ext. 3101.
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#HostingHappenings Labdien from Latvia!

Labdien (good day) from Latvia! After some bumps along the road, including a long wait in Newark, a lost bag (which had all the orphanage children’s toys in it!), and one sick member of the interview team….we made it! Ana and I are in Latvia to meet the children of the Summer 2016 program, and we couldn’t be happier…and colder. It’s a bit of a jump from the 75 degree afternoon we left in Texas to the snow flurried day here, but the children we met today were completely worth it!

FullSizeRender (1)Our day started off with a bang from this adorable sibling group of three. The Terrific Trio was a bundle of energy and came in the room with smiles on each of their faces. The older sister, who just turned 15 in December, has obviously had to play caretaker with her little brothers. She tried to keep them on task while they both bounced around the room, smiling and laughing. The middle brother was a treat! His English was almost perfect, and he enjoyed telling us all about himself and his siblings. Little brother was a sweetie, pushing a candle across the table for me to smell. They were a group that, despite having little, seemed happy. As we left, all three yelled, “Bye bye!” to us, and middle brother was the last to shuffle off down the hall, wearing worn and rather loved looking Ninja Turtle slippers.

IMG_0125They seem like a close knit bunch who would thrive given the attention they so deserve. Sibling groups like this one are quite common in Latvia, and we hope to see them hosted together. They are currently living in an orphanage, and these three children deserve the love, warmth, and stability a family can provide them. They deserve to grow up in a place where their older sister doesn’t have to be a mother to them, where they can play safely, and where they will be loved.

If you’re open to hosting a little family, please get in touch with us! You can email me at cayce@childrenofallnations.com and continue to follow our journey here on the blog to hear about some of the children we’ll meet.

PS – our bag finally made it, so tomorrow we’ll have toys for the children!

-C

A note from the staff at home: If you’re interested in potentially hosting, and especially hosting an older kiddo, we’d love to hear from you! Get in touch with us to find out more by contact Shannon at shannon@gwca.org or call (512) 323-9595 ext. 3101.

 

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Aging Out – URGENT – These Kids Need YOU

Every program, we have children who are close to “aging out,” or in China, the age at which the children will permanently lose their chance at a forever family. We work every program to try to ensure that no child reaches that age – which is the day of their 14th birthday. It’s unimaginable for us that at the age of 14, a child is now on their own, without ever having the warmth, love, and guidance that a family can bring. Pictured below, Lou, Theo, and Elena are adoptable separately, and their 14th birthday is coming up quickly. We can’t let them lose their chance.

Aging Out

These three children participated in our winter 2015-2016 hosting program, and we are looking for families who are ready for the joy an older kiddo can bring. Lou, Theo, and Elena all are still looking for a family to call their own, and we need a family who is READY now to bring one of them home. Families have time to do their paperwork from start to finish before these children age out of their orphanages permanently, but it will take a special family who is ready to hit the ground running. If you or someone you know has the heart for an older child, PLEASE share this post and spread the word about these children.

Please contact us to help these sweet children – contact Meredith at (512) 323-9595 ext. 3032 or email at meredith@gwca.org.

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#HostingHappenings: Bring Out the Coloring Books

It’s been a few days since the internet actually worked. Two nights ago, I crouched in the middle of an orphanage hallway that was approximately 12 degrees, holding my laptop at every angle possible trying to hold on to one bar of service to send updates. Last night, I was the strange American in the middle of the hotel hallway, sitting completely motionless because if I moved, everything I was trying to do would crash. I will never take you for granted again, home internet.

IMG_2473We’ve met a ton of kiddos the past few days, and yesterday we saw quite a number of older children (or “big kids,” as one of my hosting parents have affectionately called them!). Older child hosting and adoption is scary for many families – a child who is 11, 12, or even older can have a tough time.. They come with a decade of experiences already, not all of them great ones, and a little personality of their very own. For our families who step out on the limb and take that walk of faith to host one of these kids, though, the rewards are immense. We’ve seen so many older children who so excited to finally be loved, and many of the children we see in China are ready and eager to learn a new language  and step out of the world of their orphanage. The interview portion with these older children can be somewhat awkward – you can’t bring a wind-up toy or a small nerf ball to elicit a smile from these kids. Across all our programs, what helps the most is to break out the coloring books and drawing pads (pro tip for our future host families – coloring contests are a great way to bond with your kiddos!).

 

Miss Sweet Smile (in the orange) and Miss Pony Tail (in the stripe) stood out today – they are best friends and roommates. They share a room with other children, but their beds are right next to each other and they share everything just like little girls do. Miss Sweet Smile told us they love to play cards together, but, she shyly told us, Miss Pony Tail “always wins!” They slowly opened up to us, laughing and smiling as they drew us a couple of little pictures. We see children like them all the time; older children’s files may say “delayed,” but we look at them and know that with good schooling and a good family, they could be anything they wanted to be. The stigma around older children’s “developmental delays” is a hurdle we try to dodge and jump every day – these are kids who aren’t delayed, these are kids who have never been given a chance but have somehow still learned to make a best friend, smile to a stranger, and give a cautious hello. Every time I think about how much these kids have accomplished despite what they’ve been through, I am amazed…but I’m also frustrated. They deserve a chance as much as any child! Hosting is now their chance, and we can’t wait to see how these two little ladies will grow with the proper care of a family that they so deserve. We’d love to see them hosted close together, and we’d love to see the smiles of all our older children smile grow brighter with the love that a family brings.

Until tomorrow (depending on the internet, hallway, and angle of my laptop!) – talk to you soon!

-S

A note from the staff at home: If you’re interested in potentially hosting, and especially hosting an older kiddo, we’d love to hear from you! Get in touch with us to find out more by contact Cayce at cayce@childrenofallnations.com or call (512) 323-9595 ext. 3102.
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#HostingHappenings: What Not to Pack to China

Let me start with this: I am proudly writing this from the comfort of my hotel room, not from a airport back room with airport security staring down at me. Whew!

Every interview trip, we pack toys for the children. It helps them open up in front of us (strangers) who are asking them personal questions (what’s your favorite color?) and staring at them with huge, inexplicable smiles (you are so cute!). In the actual packing of toys, we have to find ones that are small enough to fit 100+ in one suitcase, “fun” enough for the children to be interested by them, gender neutral enough for the boys and girls to play with, cheap enough not to break my bank account…and on and on. We’re usually left with small rolling cars, bouncy balls, and cheap, knock-off Nerf guns. That’s where the troubles came in today.

Veronica's expert packing job, down the drain!

Veronica’s expert packing job, down the drain!

I told our guide, Veronica, that we were out of toys after meeting the children last week and needed to picked up some more. She saved the day, meeting me at the airport with a few dozen dolls and cheap pop guns, and she even already had them perfectly packed like a Tetris challenge into a small box – I’m still not sure how they all fit. We rolled up to the security check point and were told the box couldn’t be checked onto the flight, it must be a carry-on. It wasn’t until we approached the end of the security line that we started to question the sanity of our plan to carry 50+ toy nerf guns onto a plane in China. Unsurprisingly, they were less than impressed with our protestations that these were just toys, opening the whole box, pulling out each toy for inspection, and finally only letting us through after verbally warning us, “Do not pull them out on the plane!” You got it! Note to families who may be traveling soon: attempting to carry on a box of toy nerf guns is probably not the best idea. #lifelessons

Mr. Inquisitive - smiling big!

Mr. Inquisitive – smiling big!

We made it Sichuan safely, though, and the children there were happy to have their toys to play with! There were a number of kiddos who I know will be great matches for host and forever families, but Mr. Inquisitive stood out today. What a cutie! He was so talkative, chatting away with his translator and laughing at our questions. He can’t see out of one eye, but that didn’t stop him from trying to figure us out! He kept asking, “What are they saying? Why are they talking like that!” When his caretaker explained we were Americans speaking English, he immediately replied, “Why would I know English? I’m only in first grade, and we don’t learn English until 3rd grade! My teacher hasn’t taught me yet! I’m ready to learn!” His humor and smile filled the room, and he was a joy to be around. His file, like many, has been on the shared list for years, and we know that once families see what a sweetheart he is, he won’t need to wait anymore. I love hosting for this reason, and every trip is worth it to meet children like him.

After a day and a half worth of work rolled into one, tomorrow is a day full of travel to our next destination. From China, with love and a little humor to keep the journey going!

-S

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#HostingHappenings: Delivering Good News Is THE BEST

A quick update over the weekend – sometimes we return to these orphanages and have to face the question, “Have you found a family for this child yet?” It’s usually a child who has been hosted before, who has watched his or her friends return back to the United States and find a family.

image1Today, I got to smile and deliver the best news of all! Two of our boys from last summer’s program have been waiting for a family to step forward for them. After months of waiting, I can happily say that these two will be coming home! The orphanage staff were moved to tears, and taking this photo of these two boys filled my heart with purpose for this program and a true sense of mission. We had an amazing group of children this past program, and we’re so happy to have seen so many of these children coming home.

From China, talk to you soon!

-S

A note from the hosting staff at home – we have children still waiting from our current winter program to find a family, too! If you’re interested in finding out more about them, please visit our Advocate Kids Page and get in touch with us! You can also contact us with any questions you may have about the hosting programs at cayce@childrenofallnations.com.
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#HostingHappenings: Try, Try Again

IMG_2460Let me start this blog post with a funny story. As many of our families who have traveled to China know, the culture is…….different. We always tell our families that everything down to the toilet is foreign, and it’s so true. One bathroom I went in had “helpful” photo instructions on how to use the toilet – which in China, is a small trench on the ground. Today I saw a lady dressed completely in a cow print onesie lugging around a paint bucket as her suitcase for an intra-China flight. I don’t know if I’ll ever get tired of seeing things like this! It also reminds me that my rush out to the store early morning Saturday pajama outfits are okay even in other countries.

It’s little moments like these you have to enjoy because interview trips are a whirlwind. It’s get up at 5:30 am, catch the train at 6:30 am, meet the kiddos, hop on a train, repeat until you somehow land at your hotel in a haze of exhaustion, email your coworker with everything that’s happened to you (including the cow print jammies), and then try to sleep to do it all over again tomorrow. The excitement each morning, though, keeps you awake and carries you through all the worries of the day. I was hoping to see some of our past winter and summer hosting kiddos who are waiting for their families, but to my disappointment, almost all the children were off at school across the street.

image2

The children for hosting were there for the interviews, though, so all was well. As our staff returns again and again to meet the children for the next program, we start to see some of the children we’ve met before but who are still waiting for their forever family. We’re faced with that unanswerable question, “Why are they still waiting?” After promising to myself yesterday to find one child a family no matter what, today I’m speaking with one who has smiled, answered our questions, and sat on our photolisting for the past two programs, patiently waiting his turn to be chosen. He’s a handsome boy with an infectious smile that lights his whole face , and in this past year has become a bit of the darling of the orphanage. His caretakers made sure we knew he was one of the “very best boys” at the orphanage, and they hoped we could find him a family. He smiled and laughed along with us while we talked to him, and we learned he rides the local bus to school and…wait for it moms…even has learned to do his own laundry!

He’s one of many children we see who has little time left. In about a year, he will age out of the orphanage system, and he’ll no longer be eligible for adoption. We’ve talked in depth before about what it means to age out for these children, and I worry about each one of the children who faces this in their future. He’s going to be on our photolisting again, and we’ve been told that this summer will be the last time we’re able to advocate for him.

So here I am, struggling to keep my eyes open in a cab and trying to cram in every detail from the day, including one little boy and his last chance. We will try again and again and again until we’re told we can’t try anymore…because every child at every age deserves a place to call home.

-S

A note from the hosting staff at home – if you’re interested in getting matched with a hosting child, you can start your application! Early applications are considered VIP and will get access to the photolisting for a limited time before it is launched publicly. You can also contact us with any questions you may have about the hosting programs at cayce@childrenofallnations.com.
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#HostingHappenings: The One that Steals Your Heart

It happens to all of us – we try so hard not to have a “favorite” of the day…but then one kid sticks in your mind. You think about that kid when you leave the interviews, and you go home and email your coworker and say, “Look how cute he is!!” You are positive, happy, thrilled to have met this child, but your heart also aches on each step of the journey, knowing there is another child waiting around the corner to stick in your brain, keep you up at night, looking for his family.

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Before I got to meet him, I woke up to nerves and worry set to the backdrop of the beautiful mountains of Dabu. There was fog this morning, and our cab driver gave us the quickest of history lessons of this “rural” town (500,000 people is rural in China!). We saw family villages and compounds where up to 100 family members live together, some with their own private family schools. Dabu’s Social Welfare Institute (or SWI) is smaller than some other cities we’ve visited and houses four sections of the SWI system – children, the elderly, retired soldiers, and a community of people with no living relatives. There are just 27 children in this particular orphanage, and small orphanages like this get the kind of care we’d like to see all children have. The director clearly deeply cared about the children, what would happen to them in the future, what my intentions were. She was excited about hosting, though, and knew how important it was for these children to find families.

Mr. Thoughtful

That’s when I met him! Mr. Thoughtful, as I’ve already nicknamed him, was so eager to meet us he was already chattering away in Chinese like we were having a conversation before we even met (and like I knew everything he was saying). He was curious about all of our things, and took time to pick up our cameras and phones, inspect them, and then shyly smile to ask for a selfie together. The power of the selfie, it appears, transcends even orphanage life! What pulled at that bit of my heart reserved for all these children was when he tugged at my shirt out on the playground, staring into my eyes very seriously. I caught the Chinese words for “momma” and “daddy,” and I turned to Veronica, our translator, with a question on my face. She slowly repeated his request, “You will help me find a momma and daddy?” I couldn’t stop myself. I gave him a big thumbs up and a smile, and my chest swelled. Of course I will find you a family!

How can I break that promise now? It happens to us every trip – the hosting staff fall in love with particular children, and then we come home knowing, promising to ourselves: I will find homes for as many children as I can, but I’m not resting until I find a home for this one. He’s my child of today, and tomorrow I will wake up to the same nerves, the same worries. Which child’s eyes will I look into tomorrow, knowing that he or she is the one I can’t leave behind?

-S

A note from the hosting staff at home – if you’re interested in getting matched with a hosting child, you can start your application! Early applications are considered VIP and will get access to the photolisting for a limited time before it is launched publicly. You can also contact us with any questions you may have about the hosting programs.

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