Orphan Hosting Blog - Page 5 of 13

Not only did orphan hosting change the life of our superhero-in-no-more-waiting; it changed our FAMILY’S lives FOREVER. And now, after spending four weeks with a superhero who BLESSED us and CHALLENGED us and changed our PERSPECTIVE and CHANGED OUR HEARTS, we can’t wait to make hosting something we do every year. <3

Maybe you’ve never considered orphan hosting.

Neither had we.

Maybe you feel totally inadequate to advocate for a child so in need of a forever family.

So did we.

Maybe you worry that you might just fall in love with your superhero.

So did we.

And it changed HIS life and OUR life and ALL of our stories in ways that will have impact for years to come.

Love is worth it. FOREVER FAMILY is worth it. YOUR SACRIFICE to host a child who has never experienced the unconditional love of FAMILY is WORTH IT. Because YOUR SACRIFICE leads one DESERVING CHILD to a FAMILY he can be a part of FOREVER. That family could even be YOURS.

One less orphan in the world — that’s WORTH it.

Every time we announce that we are hosting a child in our home for a month to advocate for him, I receive messages and emails and texts and questions about how this all works and why we choose to do it. These are the questions we receive most frequently. And these are our honest, f’real answers. Even though it’s an imperfect system, orphan hosting, we believe from the bottom of our hearts, is worth the COST, worth the TIME, worth the TEARS.

What is orphan hosting?

Orphan hosting is an opportunity to host a child who has no parents and is legally available for adoption in your home for one month. Most of the Chinese children were abandoned at birth and have medical needs. These children come from orphanages and foster homes where they’ve been waiting, in some cases, for a DECADE for a forever family to call their own.

Because of their age or medical needs, they have not been able to be placed in their home country, and they have so far not found international families to call them “child.” Hosting gives them an opportunity to EXPERIENCE the love of forever family, gives them an opportunity to SHARE their stories and faces and personalities with a family who can then share them with the world, and it gives them an opportunity to receive medical exams, eye exams and dental exams that they may have rarely or never had before. This, then, allows potential adoptive families to receive FULLER information in these kiddos’ adoption files, and that significantly increases their chances of being adopted. Because potential families get windows into the personalities, current medical needs and current medical status of each kiddo.

And when FILES become FACES — of orphans you see with host families at farmers’ markets and at church and at the library and around town — it’s no longer easy to just forget about or ignore their plights. They become PEOPLE, not profiles, and their personalities and their stories and their sweet spirits get under the skin. Out of RELATIONSHIP, families step forward, and lives are changed.

Orphan hosting gives a FACE and a VOICE to a superhero-in-waiting. Host families get the PRIVILEGE of BEING those voices. For their host children. And for the 132 million superheroes around the world who still wait.

Do the children know they are coming to the United States to be advocated for? Do they know future adoption is an option?

In our particular hosting program, the children are told that they have been chosen to travel to the United States for an international camp. Their nannies and chaperones prepare them well for the fact that this is a one-month experience, not a lifetime experience. Throughout the hosting month, the chaperones check in and ask about “camp” and remind them how much time they have left before they return home.

In order to reinforce this camp experience, we called our home “Camp Cuthrell.” We also introduced ourselves to our summer superhero as Ayi (auntie) and Shu Shu (uncle), which allowed us to serve in a fun, auntie-like camp counselor capacity throughout his time with us.

Host families are actually not even allowed to use the “A” word with their children or around them. In fact, we printed up business cards to hand to friends and family who saw us at church and in public that read, “PLEASE ask us about adoption. Please just do not ask in FRONT of DJ. Instead, email us at this address.” This allowed us to ADVOCATE for him on social media and on the blog and in person while not discussing the concept of adoption in front of him or around him.

We found that DJ was very well prepared to return to China and was asking about his “feiji” (airplane) every night for two weeks before he returned. He thanked us for our “camp” and left with a memory book of his month in the United States.

How did you “advocate” for your child while he was here?

We chose to both blog about our superhero and share his story, photos and videos frequently on our social media account. We also handed out business cards sharing his information and story to everyone we met. In the age of social media, one photo, one video, one personal story can reach THOUSANDS of potential families. You never know who might be waiting on the other end of a computer screen to meet a son or daughter.

Advocating was as simple as sharing this sweet superhero’s story.

How much does orphan hosting cost?

As of September 2016, the cost of orphan hosting is $3200 plus the $250 application fee.

Hosting and adopting are both so expensive — how will we ever get the funds?

Some host families created and sold t-shirts to raise the funds. Others held baked sales. Others held lemonade stands, garage sales or simple Go Fund Me pages. Here’s how God provided EVERY DIME for our adoption of Superhero 3:http://michellecuthrell.com/blog/2016/5/11/leaping-over-adoption-obstacles-in-a-single-bound?rq=superman.

How did you decide to start hosting a child in your home?

http://michellecuthrell.com/blog/2016/5/20/introducing-dj-how-you-can-change-the-story-for-a-superhero-in-waiting

Why do you host? Is hosting really in the best interests of the child? And other answers to frequently asked hard questions:

http://michellecuthrell.com/blog/2016/6/7/hosting-a-superhero-in-waiting-addressing-the-hard-questions-about-orphan-hosting

I thought there were mostly healthy girls available for adoption in China. Why are most of the kiddos available for hosting and adoption boys with medical needs?

http://www.cnn.com/2015/08/11/asia/china-orphanage-children/

What does it mean to “age out” of the Chinese adoption system? What happens to these children when they turn 14? Why is finding them a home before this age so urgent?

http://www.lwbcommunity.org/adoption-of-older-children

How did you communicate with your child when he was here?

We primarily used hand gestures, pictures and Google Translate. However, we found Google Translate to be an unreliable app (we’re pretty sure our 10-year-old superhero did NOT ask us for a gigolo). Several families suggested other apps that cost $5 – $15 and were much more reliable throughout their hosting experiences.

By the time he left, our host superhero could speak several words and phrases in English, and he could understand a large portion of what we said, even though he couldn’t speak in full sentences back to us.

Play is a universal language and the one we used most frequently.

What were your biggest challenges as a host family?

Honestly, hosting our summer superhero was such a blessing that even the challenges were joys to tackle together. Perhaps our biggest challenge was getting our summer superhero on our time zone. Since it was a 12-hour time difference from his home in China to ours, it took him a good week to finally start sleeping through the night and waking during normal hours. Which meant that the first week of 2 a.m. wake-ups were a bit exhausting.

The language barrier was not as much of an obstacle as I imagined, since children pick up new languages so easily, and gestures and sign language helped bridge the gap.

What advice do you have a for a new host family?

The child you receive at the airport is NOT the child you send home one month later.

DJ was so overstimulated and overwhelmed by our culture, our home, our toys and our environment that, for the first week, he simply ran from object to object and item to item, exploring, experiencing and enjoying. He was like a toddler who looked more like a ping pong ball, bouncing from one thing to another at the speed of lightning, than a 10-year-old boy.

After one week, he adjusted to the time zone, realized we were going to feed him regularly and understood that all these toys and play things would still be available to him the next morning. He slowed his frantic and curious pace considerably and began to rest and RELATE to all of us — something he had no time or energy to do in his first week in our home because of all the fun and crazy distractions.

It was at that time that he really started BONDING with our family … and demonstrating affection.

Although the child who arrived in our home was one who woke up at 2 a.m. and raced through the house touching everything but US, the child who LEFT was one who just wanted to be cuddled, carried, held. Who craved the benefits and entitlements of being part of a FAMILY.

Didn’t you fall in love with your host child? How on earth did you say goodbye to him when his time in your home came to an end?

http://michellecuthrell.com/blog/2016/8/19/the-tears-that-were-worth-it

How did orphan hosting impact you and your family?

http://michellecuthrell.com/blog/2016/9/9/audacious-love-what-orphan-hosting-taught-me-about-loving-boldly

Will hosting one orphan really make a difference? Will it really matter in the greater orphan crisis?

http://michellecuthrell.com/blog/2016/7/15/making-a-difference-for-one

After hosting once, would you do it again?

http://michellecuthrell.com/blog/2016/9/13/dj-changed-our-story

We would like to host with the intention of adopting our host child, but I’m worried about adopting a child with special needs. It seems daunting and overwhelming.

http://michellecuthrell.com/blog/2016/5/10/superman-is-special-the-blessing-of-special-needs-adoption?rq=superman

Will hosting or adopting a child with special needs “hurt” our family?

http://michellecuthrell.com/blog/2016/5/9/the-superheroes-who-almost-werent-how-fear-could-have-robbed-me-of-my-greatest-blessings?rq=superman

Hosting a superhero-in-waiting was one of the most amazing things we have ever been blessed to be a part of. And WE would love nothing more than for YOUR family to join OURS on this journey! To drive to international airports with us. To eat with us. To hold Chinese-speaking play dates where we enjoy pot stickers and garlic and onion sandwiches and all force through the mess that is Google Translate while we watch in awe as these incredible and resilient kiddos overcome obstacles and blow us away with their ability to LOVE.

By God’s grace, we CAN help change the orphan story, one deserving child at a time.

Check out the orphan hosting list at http://orphanhosting.com/orphan-hosting-photolisting/. Apply for an instant password that comes straight to your email box, and then view the faces of the superheroes who are dying to call YOU Ayi and Shu Shu this year.

To find out more, email Shannon Phillips at Shannon@gwca.org.

NEW UPDATE: Back in Their Arms

Share 3433

Each year our Orphan Hosting team has the opportunity to meet some of the most amazing and kindhearted families in the world, as they work together to bring children to America with the hope that they will find their Forever Families. Among these families from our 2015-16 Holiday Hosting program were “K” and “C,” a couple that welcomed a little girl named “L” into their family for four weeks. During their time hosting “L,” the two fell completely in love, immediately beginning the process to bring her home. Now, less than one year later, they’re in China finalizing their adoption and welcoming their daughter into their family forever!

Here are a few of their most recent blog posts from their trip. Check back soon for updates!

Go to top

Forever Family Day – 9.5.2016

Today we were reunited with L at the Civil Affairs Office. Our guide, Kelly, helped us with some paperwork and we waited with several other families. She walked out wearing a beautiful white dress, pink headband, and pink sparkly shoes. She was immediately happy and smiling and called us mama and baba. We spent time looking at old pictures and videos on my phone. She keeps asking for Kinsley and wants to call her. We had to tell her she was asleep. She keeps says, “sshh Kinsley sleeping.” In the van on the way back to the hotel, she asked for jewelry and painted nails. This girl didn’t skip a beat and we picked up right where we left 8 months ago. Back at the hotel, she found her new shoes lined up against the way and immediately had to change. She had some ramen noodles. It seemed like she was starving and had two helpings. I delayed showing her her drawer full of clothes knowing that would instigate a wardrobe change. She pointed to the drawer all on her own and wanted to change. She pulled out several outfits but settled on a jean jumper. She also was focused on when we would be painting her toenails and fingernails so we accomplished that. Only tears were when we were running down the hallway to the elevator and she slipped and fell. The tears were pretty short-lived. We ran up to the lounge so C and I could grab something to eat for dinner. And she had a few snacks. Our evening was spent playing Candy Land, taking a bath, and reading books. A very successful forever family day!

Go to top

China Adoption Finalization – 9.6.2016

So today we finalized our adoption as far as China is concerned. Today K’s sister, Lilly, was our guide. She was very engaged with L. Lilly asked her lots of questions and she answered. This is by far the most we have heard her speak. The great part is Lilly was able to translate for us during our van ride to the Civil Affairs Office. She told Lilly that she wants to be adopted and live in America. Sounds good to us kiddo. We met with two different female officials who asked us questions and completed our paperwork. We are approved and they are working to issue our final certificate.

After returning to the hotel, we let L explore the garden of the hotel, which includes the waterfalls and coy fish ponds. She also walked by the pool and spent a lot of time the playground. She loved going down the slide, especially if one of us startled her on the way down. We walked to an Italian restaurant for lunch. She ate some beef spaghetti like a champ. It was so hot and humid today that we were all drenched in a short period of time. The pool was calling us but we agreed that nap time was probably more important. Unfortunately, it was raining with thunderstorms whenever she woke up so we had to delay it. We played in our room and the beach ball I brought along was a huge hit. The rain cleared so we were able to “go swimming” in the kiddie pool.

We had dinner in the lounge here at our hotel and we have found that our girl has a deep love for prawns. We have no idea if this is something she had at her orphanage, but we doubt it. This was the one thing she picked out as we walked through the spread. So I spent most of my dinner, cleaning, peeling, de-heading, and deveining shrimp. She is not a fan of cocktail sauce after trying it and telling us it was hot. Last night, she had two shrimp. Tonight she devoured four large shrimp. We had a low key evening in the room and did some coloring. I see significant improvement in staying in the lines. We are also really impressed by her speech and vocabulary.

Go to top

Medical Exam – 9.7.2016

Today was another great day of making memories. After breakfast, our official business for the day was having her medical exam completed which is one of the requirements to finalize the U.S. portion of the adoption. Our guide, Kelly, took us to the Guangdong International Travel Healthcare Center. First, L had her photo taken for her Visa. Then we went upstairs to the medical clinic where she made friends with everyone. The measured her height and weight, checked her eyes and ears, drew blood for her TB test, and did basic medical exam. Similarly to when she visited the U.S., she did not cry when they drew her blood. She has had a nasty, deep cough the last couple of days that we have been treating with over the counter meds. She was also a little lethargic this morning and has been running a fever on and off. Despite not feeling 100%, she has continued to be her happy and pleasant self. They prescribed an antibiotic because her throat was red and inflamed. She has had one dose so far and it seems to be helping.

We ventured out for lunch and went to the Noodle House near our hotel. Of course, she selected a picture with noodles and shrimp. She ate the best we have seen so far. We stopped by the playground to burn off some energy. When housekeeping came to clean our room, she watched intently and brought her one of the trashcans. She seemed concerned that they were removing the linens from our bed. She kept putting her hands on her hips and looking at me like “aren’t you going to do something?!” We have also noticed she is highly organized. Always wanting to put back what she has been playing with and straightening and organizing the shoes by the door.

This evening our hotel hosted a reception with food and live music for all adoptive families. L really seemed to enjoy the music. She “sang” along, danced, and bobbed her head to the music all night long. A few of the kids took turns getting pulled up on stage, and I could see she desperately wanted to be up there. We had to move closer and she eventually got her chance. I’m sure this was a highlight for her, but she did get a little shy once she was up on stage. She made some new friends and even shared some food with one of the little girls. It was great to mingle with other families although we see most everyone at breakfast. It was a great event and afterwards she thought we needed to eat again:) medical-exam

Go to top

Free Day #1 – 9.8.2016

Today we had another free day. At breakfast, we were reunited with the new friends we made at last night’s reception. We spent time playing on the playground and hung out in our hotel room. The days are going so fast and yet we are so ready to be home. This afternoon our guide, Kelly, took us on a shopping trip. Our first two stops were to pick up some traditional souvenirs. Common purchases are jade and pearls. She took us to the pearl market which was a multi-level building with literally hundreds of wholesale vendors. All types of jewelry were available.

Our excursion turned from shopping to learning pretty quickly as she walked us through several local “markets.” We walked along a pedestrian only street that was filled with people. She said Guangzhou has a mere 16 million. The street was lined with clothing stores. We turned down a side street and entered the “pet market.” This consisted of a whole section of vendors selling cats and dogs in crates. Then we entered the “herbal medicine market.” We saw all sorts of things but the worst was the bins of creepy-crawly scorpions. I still have creepy-crawly skin just thinking about it. Next, we visited the “food market.” Shoppers could buy fruits, vegetables, and meat. We saw a lot of fish and black-skinned chicken which is used for soup. Our senses were on overload with all of the unusual smells. She said it is common for younger people to shop at Walmart but people her parents’ age prefer to shop at the local markets.

We opted for McDonalds for dinner and also enjoyed some ice cream. Our two extra value meals and happy meal were less than $10 USD. As soon as we got back to our room, L thought we needed to eat again so we headed upstairs for a nightcap of shrimp.

Go to top

Orphanage Visit – 9.10.2016

Today started out very early as we prepared to travel an hour and a half to Dongguan to L’s orphanage. It was an educating day and one filled with lots of emotions. We have been told it is one of the better orphanages which is mildly comforting. Due to the long drive, L had some carsickness but once we gave her some medicine she slept the whole way.

As we drove up, the main building looked very nice. L was an obvious favorite as many of the adults (nannies/caretakers) knew her and were excited to see her. As we walked around, we noticed how bright and colorful everything was. There was a lot of natural light and it seemed like a good environment for learning. We were able to see the sleeping area with bunk beds, bathroom, and classrooms. We saw a few older children but most were very young. We were told most of the school-age children were at the Sunshine Academy, a school affiliated with the orphanage but a few blocks away. One of the caretakers told a story that when L was younger, she would get up in the middle of the night and make her self a bottle when she was hungry (even when she was too old for a bottle). They all got a good laugh reminiscing about her.

L seemed to show minimal emotion during our visit. So we started asking some questions and learned that once the young children can take care of their own basic needs they are moved to a different building. Then they estimated that it had been three years since L had lived there. They explained that she was living in an outside dormitory. It isn’t a foster home but basically a small orphanage, maybe only 15 kids, with two to three nannies in a building offsite. Although we didn’t get to see where she lived most recently, we did see where she spent a lot of time.

L slept again on our return trip and we ate a late lunch at an Irish Pub. We both ordered cheeseburgers and ordered spaghetti for L. It wasn’t quite an American cheeseburger but the french fries were great. L didn’t want anything to do with the spaghetti and instead ate off of our plates. I even convinced her that coleslaw was noodles and surprisingly she ate it.

We decided it would be another great day to go swimming. The kiddie pool was closed today so we had to swim in the big pool. L was quite the fish. She loves watching the other kids and thinks she needs to put her face under the water too. She was much more relaxed and really seemed to enjoy kicking and splashing around.

Go to top

Free Day #2 – 9.10.2016

We had another low key day today. We visited an H&M store right by our hotel and L enjoyed trying things on and having a fashion show. We also walked to Martyr’s Park which is several blocks from our hotel. Our hope was that L could play on the children’s playground. It rained on and off but we still enjoyed our afternoon out and about. The park was beautiful and the pictures do not really do it justice. The park included monuments, temples, tombs, pavilions, and a cemetery. There was live music playing in several areas, but the children’s playground was lacking so L just rode around in the stroller.

Tonight we went on a river cruise with two other adoptive families from our hotel and met several others there. The cruise consisted of riding on a boat for one hour and twenty minutes up and down the Pearl River. It included a dinner buffet. The guide told us to eat as soon as we could and not to wait. There was no organization or line formation; people would just go to the dish they wanted and often would remove the serving tongs to take to their next dish of choice. It was crazy. The food was okay but not anything special. The kids all seemed to love it. Leave it to my child to select chicken feet and proceed to eat them. It was disgusting! Our table was on the second level and after dinner, we were able to visit the open third deck to take photographs of the City at night. There was also an entertainer which made the children balloon animals and juggled. Many of the kids got to be part of the show. L really seemed to enjoy the evening with friends.

Go to top

Free Day #3 Plus Sightseeing – 9.11.2016

Today was another free day for us. After breakfast, C and I got foot and shoulder/back massages. They applied much pressure but we felt very relaxed afterwards. L pretended to help and she was very patient. We grabbed lunch at OGGI which is a pizza place. It was a nice change and even L seemed to enjoy it. We did some boutique shopping near our hotel. L had fun trying on different dresses and twirling around. We were trying to kill some time because it was raining again. We were getting close to time on when we were supposed to be meeting our guide for sightseeing and it was not letting up at all. So we had to run several blocks in the pouring down rain back to our hotel. There were several inches of water in the road because the rain was coming down so quickly. By the time we made it back, we were all drenched!

Our guide, Kelly, took us and another family to the Chen Clan Ancestral Hall which is a family temple and not religious at all. It was one of the few activities we could do because it was partially inside to protect us from the rain. We toured the temple and viewed the intricate displays of wood carvings, porcelain painting, ivory carving and more. There were also several souvenir shops. After we were finished, we visited OneLink Plaza which is a multi-level wholesale toy market. It is a misnomer because they actually have many items in addition to toys (household, gifts, etc.). There were literally thousands of vendors. We wondered around and did some more souvenir shopping. It was great to be inside and out of the rain.

We stopped at the Guangzhou Friendship Store and ate dinner at a place called the Banana Leaf. They serve Thai food and L was thrilled to be eating noodles. This girl requests to eat noodles all day long and generally eats 3-4 servings per sitting.

Go to top

US Adoption Finalization – 9.12.2016

Today we had our U.S. Consulate appointment to finalize L’s adoption. We were there with many other families who have become friends. Unfortunately, our bag and phones had to stay at the security checkpoint so we were not able to take any photos inside. All of our paperwork is finally finished and we will receive her VISA tomorrow. As soon as she lands on U.S. soil, she will be a U.S. citizen.

Afterwards, our guide, Kelly, took us and another family to Yuntai Garden. The park was really beautiful and full of bright, vibrant colors. This was our first day here that it has not rained which was nice but it was extremely hot and humid. After a short stroll around the park, we were ready to be done with sightseeing. We decided to spend some time in the pool. L likes to “swim,” put her head under water, and today C taught her how to blow bubbles.

We headed to dinner with our favorite hotel buddies. We went to an Italian buffet and L ate really well (3 plates full). The kids had fun playing together and I’m sure are going to miss each other when it is time to part ways. Speaking of which, we begin our trek home tomorrow. It has been an enjoyable trip and great bonding time, but we are beyond ready to be home. L wants to ride the airplane home everyday although she is not too eager to see Bessie, our dog.

We are so appreciative of all of the thoughts, prayers, and supportive comments during this journey to bring L home as our child. us-adoption-finalization